7th month and 9th day of us being together. 2nd of december....

time has passed very fast but sometimes its as slow as snail.... but I wont forget the 1st time we had met. I thought you were a perfect person. the person i always wanted... but the 3rd day I started to know the so called "darkness" of you always said you were about. Then 1 to 2 weeks time. I know about your family and religion. I thought it was ok because I still loved you more than myself. I know if I haven't met you in the 1st placed, I probably would had end up my life. I know I owe my life to you.

It was 7 month and 8th days passed, I had went to your placed to stayed, but you never come to mine for once but only in my town less than 1 day. I thought all these was ok too. as I keep lying to myself... Its alright.... and you always said "be patient". But this day... You told me the same thing again... the "darkness" you mentioned twice and to me... I think I won't know how it's like... because I wasn't you... yes, you are right. I don't even know you because I am not you!

On my point of view, I can only see that you are a negative thinker, as being a negative thinker as I am can also felt that you have negative thinking more than me means that you are really locked up inside you. both of us are the age of 20. but as I think that you are just naive by making this "darkness" up. you wouldn't want to change at all. you always say that there are other side of you but this was a lie. a lie that can cheat your own feelings. You were just lazy to even think of other things but only negative and selfishness of your own. You think that everything had been better than you. you didn't think that the cup is half full but the cup is half empty and even worse. you thought that the half empty cup is worth not even 1 drop to spare for you. you didn't accept people's opinion. you didn't give it a try. and you always want me how to think and even make me feel bad that I am the one that is wrong here. but didn't you think about my point of view? didn't you see what is happening in my life?

I'll tell you about mine and you always said that you were worst. what does it mean? you just want to claim that whatever I said I wont change how you think and feel. Now let me tell you how I feel, I felt that you are selfish, pessimist and always looked down to your own. to be honest, you actually need a psychiatrist, or someone that can make you think the other way.

the other thing I was very angry about is religion. you hate other religion besides your own and that is a very very wrong doing. Yes, I do hate, but I only hate one. but i won't hate others because religion suppose to teach people good. so what about your's? Is your religion helping you to become a better person? I guess not. you always think that mine is like a very bad thing. but what about yours?

last, is about your own family. The biggest offence is your mom. I know i should respect elders but the biggest offence and very very naively thinking was her. just because she thought that she is right, it doesn't mean that she is right. but you always followed what she said and didn't think is it really right or wrong.

If I want to say, there are much more to say... I can even write a book about it. but I was just waiting... waiting for you to give up. because I won't give up. and I know I will regret if i give up on you. I can wipe off all the negative things from you because I loved you too much. much more than myself. that means the last thing I hope was that you and me can change... change to have a better living. (because I know I am not a good person at all)

love is a training process of tolerance....

May God Bless you and your family....

I hope you may know Him.....